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| ARGON.WAV | Spokesperson: "Here at our multi-billion dollar refinery in Fairbanks, we're extracting 2.5 billion barrels of crude oil each day from teenagers faces." | 25.7kb |
| ARMAGEDN.WAV | Narrator: "...if you were terrified by Earthquake...then you will be scared shitless..." | 48.3kb |
| ASTRLGY2.WAV | Joyce Wilson: "...you Virgo's can expect an untimely death..." | 98.1kb |
| ASTROLGY.WAV | Anchorwoman: "A quick reminder, these reports are not intended to foster a belief in astrology but merely to support people who cannot take responsibility for their own lives." | 20.7kb |
| CLEOPTRA.WAV | Narrator: "She was six feet of black dynamite...he was a short Hassidic Jew..." | 179kb |
| CNTERPNT.WAV | Rebuttal to co-host on a "Firing Line" type program | 39.2kb |
| DEATH.WAV | Commercial for the "United Appeal For The Dead" (hosted by Henry Gibson) | 190kb |
| DETROIT.WAV | Dr. Klahn: "...take him to Detroit!" | 50.1kb |
| DNGRSEKR.WAV | Host: "It's been said that the test of a man's courage is how he performs in the face of danger..." | 134kb |
| DOG.WAV | Mr. Loo: [DOG BARKING] 'What was that? This is not a charade..." | 51.4kb |
| DONTCARE.WAV | Mr.
Loo: "...Shanghaied?" Dr. Klahn: "...just lost drunken men who don't know where they are and no longer care..." |
129kb |
| FEEWING.WAV | Mr. Loo: "What was dat? This is not a chawade...we need total concentwayshun. Now, once again...this time with FEEwing." | 37.7kb |
| FUMBLES.WAV | Anchorman: "Rams plagued by fumbles as earthquake rocks Los Angeles. Film at 11." | 11.3kb |
| GEMINI.WAV | Field Reporter: "Well, I thought all along that the teachers would return to work, but umm...being a Gemini I just never know what to expect [ARROW SHOOTS FROM NOWHERE] (thunk)...oof!" | 17.9kb |
| GRATITUD.WAV | Dr. Klahn: "We are building a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude..." | 35.1kb |
| HUNGWELL.WAV | Game Show Host: "Guard number one is a senior on Klahn's mountain and aspires to be a research chemist...welcome please...Hung Well! [APPLAUSE]" | 86.2kb |
| MELTING.WAV | Dr. Klahn: "NO, not water! [SPLASH]...I'm melting...I'm melting...what a world...what a world. This was a fighting force extraordinary magnitude!" | 58.8kb |
| MESSAGE.WAV | Dr. Klahn: [PHONE RINGING, ANSWERING MACHINE PICKS UP] "Hello, this is Dr. Klahn. I'm not home right now..." | 46.6kb |
| MISSILES.WAV | Anchorman: "Moscow in flames...missiles headed toward New York, film at 11." | 10.8kb |
| MOUNTAIN.WAV | Agency
Official 1: "...a terrain so rugged, so treacherous no country
will claim it." Agency Official 2: "Worse than Detroit...?" |
25kb |
| NESSON.WAV | [A WESSON
OIL SPOOF] [SIZZLING IN BACKGROUND] Father: "Well, what's our little skeptic doing today?" Mother: "She's frying the cat in pure Nesson oil. [HOWLING CAT IN BACKGROUND]" |
37.9kb |
| NFARIOUS.WAV | Agency Official 1: "Klahn has been connected with every sort of nefarious activity...you name it...opium, weapons traffic, assassination, motion picture distribution..." | 32.1kb |
| ODORS.WAV | a "lingering odors" commercial parody | 96.6kb |
| POPPISS.WAV | Anchorman: "The popcorn you're eating has been pissed in, film at 11." | 9.03kb |
| ROUGHAND.WAV | Agency Official: "This is Buttkiss...Klahn's bodyguard, he is tough and ruthless. This is Kwong, Klahn's chauffeur, he is rough and toothless." | 32.6kb |
| SCOTFREE.WAV | Board game poking fun at the JFK assassination investigation. | 143kb |
| TOUR.WAV | Tour Guide: "...we manufacture enough heroine here to supply nearly one-fourth of the world's addicts..." | 99.4kb |
| TOY.WAV | Lab
Person 1: [SMALL TOY ROBOT WALKING] "A toy robot!!"
Lab Person 2: "AAHH!!! [JUMPS THROUGH WINDOW]" |
29.8kb |
| UNKNOWN.WAV | A bit from the "High Adventure" show | 38.2kb |
| WILLER.WAV | A Miller Beer commercial spoof | 118kb |
| ZNCOXIDE.WAV | Picking on cheesy classroom science films | 275kb |
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